The Curse of Control: LET.IT.GO Review & Giveaway
Wednesday, November 21, 2012 at 7:05AM 
Being a woman who loves control is a curse.
I've always known I inherited the "control gene". My husband and I would laugh about it, and most often I could convince myself it was an asset:
I'm always on time.
I meet deadlines.
People can depend on me to get things done.
Being a Type A woman definitely has its benefits, but who am I fooling? Mostly, it's just a huge hassle trying to control everything all the time.
When my children were younger I had a lot of control. My house was clean, I could gain sanity during naptimes, and those precious little ones still hadn't developed a mind of their own.
Those were the days. I had it all UNDER CONTROL.
Fast forward just a few years: I'm now a mom of an eleven and almost eight year old. We are at home together all day long. They don't take naps. They make messes all day long.
Oh, and they each have strong minds of their own. {wonder where they got THAT from?}
Add to that all of the balls I juggle as a homeschool, work at home mom and most days I struggle for control and never achieve any.
Here's a typical scenario:
The house is 100% clean because company is coming for the afternoon. Fifteen minutes before they arrive a bucket of LEGO bricks is dumped on the floor. Someone spills a glass of milk on the kitchen floor. The dog decides to poop in the entryway {gross, I know - but this happens all too often!}.
Or how about this one?
While my child has volunteered to make dinner for the evening I am hovering over her every move, grumbling and complaining about the mess she is making (because she certainly isn't cleaning as she goes like I do). After fifteen minutes in the kitchen she finally relents and says "You do it, mom - I can't do it as good as you."
I truly want to be joyful, but more often than not that joy is elusive because I am trying to "run the show" effectively. Not only is it hard on me, I'm often crushing little souls in my controlling path.
It's hard to admit this, but it's a very LARGE part of who I am.
Does this control freak sound like you?
It is no coincidence that Karen Ehman's new book LET.IT.GO fell into my lap a short time ago.
Her words at the beginning of the book spoke to me loud and clear:
So please pause, my reading friend. Take a deep breath. I don't believe it's a coincidence that you're holding this book just now. You and I have much to learn about letting go, about prying our fingers off of the control wheel of life and giving it back to the One who created multitasking , take-charge women in the first place.
Topics include:
- Managing Your Man
- Micromanaging Instead of Mothering
- Hovering Over the Home
- Our Clamoring Culture
- Soul Control
Karen offers advice from the word of God to help us learn to rely more on HIM and less on ourselves.
Through humorous personal stories and "control quizzes" she begins to lead us control freak women on the journey to lead more happy and peaceful lives.
At a time in my life where I feel things are spinning out of control, LET.IT.GO showed me that if I would just let go of some control I will ironically feel MORE in control. Oh, I know this is so, but reading the book hammered the point home.
The book has made such an impact on me that I have invited several friends to participate in the LET.IT.GO Bible study with me after the holidays. These are friends that are committed to making a positive change in their lives... a move away from so much control and more dependence on HIM.
As I sat in church Sunday the tears flowed - reading this book has shed light on my selfish, controlling ways. It's not easy to face, and I'm ashamed.
I am thankful, however, for the chance to CHANGE, and the chance to allow God's grace to wash over me and start fresh each and every day. God is good... HIS control is the final word.
I want offer you, my faithful readers, a chance to win LET.IT.GO. Two lucky winners will be chosen.
To enter: Simply leave me a comment and tell me why you NEED this book. What area of life do you attempt to control the most?
This giveaway will be open until Sunday, November 25th at midnight. Please be sure to leave a valid email address where I can contact you.
*I received a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. I've been blessed by this book in ways I cannot adequately express. I'm grateful to Karen and the ministry she is providing through her books.
Karen Ehman is the Director of the Proverbs 31 Ministries speaker team and the author of six books. Her passion is to provide practical inspiration and biblical encouragement to help women live their priorities and love their lives. She’s been a guest on The 700 Club, Moody Midday Connection and Focus on the Family. She and her college sweetheart Todd are raising their three kids in the boondocks of central Michigan.
Reader Comments (44)
i need to let go of control..trust my husband to make right decisions for our family.
Would love this book, I too feel a NEED to keep all things going smoothly and that others follow suit. But I like to say I am a "planner", "organized" and other more complimentary titles of control! Lol
I would love this book as I have a hard time letting go! Easier said than done! I need to actually perform the act of letting go. It's always been a difficult thing for me.
I need this book because the story of you and your daughter in the kitchen sounds just like me.
I need this book! I'm similar to you, punctual, dependable, and I like to have a clean and orderly home, but my six kids keep messing everything up!! LOL! Sometimes people will tell me that I seem laid back, and I think are you serious??!! Granted I do have to let things go otherwise I would be in the looney bin for sure, but often I'm not a very fun mom. "Hurry up and finish breakfast" "Hurry up and get your shoes on" "Pick up this room!" I say those things far too often!! Thanks for the opportunity to win a copy :)
I need this book because my belief that if it doesn't get done by me {and my way} means it will not get done at all and the world will stop spinning....and yet I can't do it all and be it all and control it all so let's just do nothing and be a big whining failure of poo....well, it has me taking a lot of anxiety meds... oh, and then let's feel guilty because I haven't just "given it to God" like I'm supposed to...
maybe I need a lesson in letting it go.
Oh, my. That kitchen story is what happens sometimes at our house. And then I wonder why my kids are not interested in learning how to cook...
I need this book because your description is exactly like me. I'm a definite type-A personality. It's the family joke around here, because my husband is so easy going. My dad was a type-A and my sister and I are now, as well.
I tend to be the person that wants everything done effectively, or just let me do it. Sometimes this really clashes with our homeschooling. I'm working on letting things go, but just not getting there as fast as I'd like.
Sigh...your post is so close to home. I'm pretty sure I'm holding on a bit too tightly to the reigns around here.
I could definitely use this =) I just want everything done right lol. I definitely hover over my children, not for safety, but because I want them to do things a certain way. I don't think I'm so bad with my husband, thankfully. Hey, wouldn't thinks be a mess if someone wasn't in control? I feel like things are already messy enough with me trying to control them. Eesh, I think I really do need that book!
I am a "recovering" perfectionist and struggle especially with my kiddos.
Oh, my gosh, my family would come and cook dinner at YOUR house if I would just LET IT GO!
I have grown better at some things, but not enough to make me (or them!) breathe easily.
I am a perfectionist, and I hover over my girls when they are doing something that I usually do!!
I tend to try to control every.area.of.my.life. I so need this book! Thanks for the chance to win one.
I need this book because I make my family miserable with my control freak ways. I have 3 children and I think I spend more time complaining about things than I do enjoying them. I need help learning to let things go. I wish I had an off switch for this behavior:( it sucks the joy out of so many things. Things I will never get back.
I'm a first-born, type A, Martha not Mary...how many descriptions can there be?! Three little ones, homeschooling, and perfectionistic tendencies do not mix well. I could use some practical help with giving up control and letting God...!
OH...MY...STARS. If ever there were a "pillow-fluffing, over-bearing, controlling, know-it-all, neat freak who needed a reality check on what's really important...it would be me. This book seems to have hit me directly square on the head (perhaps someone should anyhow...lol!!!) Thanks for the great post...I desperately need to chill out and let it go!!! :)
I NEED to read this book because it has become quite evident to me over the past several years that I am a control FREAK. I thought I was doing well at trusting God and leaving everything to Him, but the fact of the matter is that I have a hard time relaxing and enjoying life because I'm always trying to figure out how to fix all my problems and how everything will work out instead of letting Him take care of it all.
I have a hard time turning over tasks for others to do without me "checking in" to see if they are doing it "right." I need reminders to "just let it go."
I need to let go of things I cannot change, and quit frustrating myself and those around me by always trying to take charge.
I am not nearly as bad about this with my second set of kids as I was with my first set. I think seeing how quickly the time goes with my older two reminds me that I only have so much time to pour positive energy into my little two. I have so many mistakes I wish I could take back, but can't. I don't want to make some of those same mistakes with Eli and Brynne, and want to learn how to "let go" even more now that Kyndal and Dawson are entering adulthood. I would imagine my husband would appreciate me a little more if I wasn't so "keyed up" about seemingly insignificant things.
Although I am not a neat freak myself, I want to be one, and my disgruntled perfectionist side rears her head almost every day. I could DEFINITELY use the wisdom in this book!
Hello, I would love to win this book! I am new to homeschooling this year and I am learning a lot about myself. One of the things I am learning is that I have a control problem...ouch. I need to learn how to let go in my homeschooling.
One of the reasons I UNSCHOOL is because I am a type A person, a control freak of sorts, but I don't want to be. When I first began homeschooling my now 9 y.o., after a few months I saw how I was crushing her with my perfectionist, controlling self and I decided that "no more!". I haven't arrived! Every day I need to remind myself to trust and release control. When I read the description of you over your child fixing dinner, I saw myself. My kids love to cook and bake with me but for me is super hard. It's not fun... but I am learning to release control and enjoy the mess.
I would love to win the book. I need it so... still!
Oh, my. I definitely need this book. Which area do I try to control? How about all of them. :) I’ll just say that this sounds so much like something I need to read that I’m putting it on my list regardless of whether or not I win a copy. Thanks for the review and the encouraging words.