I Can't Run The Race Any More!

I've been overwhelmed with my blog lately; overwhelmed with what it takes to keep two blogs going, and overwhelmed at how LITTLE that investment pays off in my life.  

To be honest, I do not see how so many bloggers keep all of the balls in the air.   I KNOW some balls have to fall, and generally - if the blog looks beautiful and perfect and if the author is always Tweeting, Facebooking, and engaging with their "audience", how in the world are they engaging with their precious little audience sitting at home with them?  I DON'T KNOW.  (I'm not saying this to be judgmental - just that I cannot do it and I think I'm a pretty productive, driven person.)  

I know there are a myriad of posts about making good use of your time, but for me, blogging is all consuming.  My mind never stops formulating posts - it never stops coming up with ideas.  This is a blessing and a curse.  

Although I can't go into details here, I also have a huge stumbling block in the blogging world, and it's one I'm not willing to deal with any longer.  It's the kind of obstacle that stares me in the face everywhere I go online - and now it's even rearing it's head in real life.  I don't have the energy to compete, and that's not what my life is about.... because in any earthly competition I feel we all lose.   

I guess it's like a race I've been running, and now I'm going to just walk for a bit so I don't fall out completely.  Does that make sense? 

Life is too short and my children are only little for so long.   

I'll continue to blog our homeschool adventures for my children.  I can't, however, continue to actively engage in social media and lots of commenting, and just everything having a blog takes.  I hope to post 2 times each week.... and I hope you'll stick with me if you genuinely like my blog.  (one of those times will always be Collage Friday!)

I want to blog for ME.   I want to blog for my FAMILY.    I love being a Thinking Mother... that will continue.    I believe in The Old Schoolhouse Review Crew.  That will continue.    

I can't, however, run the race any longer.  I'm tired and I do believe my family will probably be glad when I tell them this news.  

I'm also wondering how alone I am in this --- I think I'm a pretty normal person, so I'm thinking many bloggers must go through this same thing.   Is anyone raising their hand?  

If I really think about it - this is how my blog was supposed to be from the beginning.  When I started blogging, this is what it was about.  I remember sharing my blogging idea with a friend from long ago - I was so excited about this new fun exercise in writing and sharing.  Somewhere along the line it became more about numbers and comments.  Somewhere along the line I lost the joy.  Somewhere along the line I lost focus, and I'm just thankful to be trying to regain that focus now.     

I look at this picture and am proud of the blog I've built.  I'm proud of the connections I've made, the products I've reviewed, and the community that has been built.   I'm not proud, however, that I feel it's been done at the expense of my family.   I also look at this picture and see a mom that is tired, sometimes grumpy, and not very fun.  I see a mom whose primary mission needs to be EDUCATING HER CHILDREN not RUNNING HER BLOG!  

It all comes down to these cliche (yet wise) words:

EVERYTHING IN MODERATION

Please let me know if you've experienced similar feelings -- even though I know this is a wise decision, I still feel as if I'm letting someone down (who that person is, I don't know! ha!).

Comments

[Meghan]

Awesome post from an awesome lady! I love your heart and will definitely continue reading..please keep in touch. I'll send you my email. xoxo

[Whit]

Not letting me down, but yet lifting me up (and yes I will still stick with you). I am new to the blogging thing this year and I thought at first I have to get comments and review opportunities and good numbers and go to conferences...I discovered very quickly that I don't have the time for that kind of blogging. I have always enjoyed writing and that is why I want to do it. I am always thankful for kind comments and companies that put their trust in my opinions, but at the end of the day, if I don't blog for 2 weeks I'm okay with that too. You could not be more right about giving the children more of my time than I do my friends and fellow bloggers online. I appreciate your honesty and find it inspiring! I hope you find more time and joy with your family.

[Amy @ Hope Is the Word]

I'm with you, Mary. Although I've never been terribly driven to have a following, I know exactly what you mean about ALWAYS being in the blog-post writing mindset. I'm planning to scale back my blogging in the new year, too. There are other things I want to do with my time--scrapbooking, for one, and exercising. I've just got to discipline myself to hold back. ;-)

Regardless of how often you blog, I'll always consider you a bloggy friend!

[Lisa]

My hand is raised! I found your post on Goggle when I was looking for something else ;-) Funny how the Lord works :-)