Valentines and Silly Homeschool Fears
Thursday, February 14, 2013 at 5:00AM
Valentine's Day has gotten me thinking... actually quite deeply about some truths in my own life.
In the past month I have had three people contact me about homeschooling. They want to know how to get started, all about the support groups and the academics, and how I manage to have time to myself.
Inevitably they also ask me if my kids miss out on "socializing" and things like class parties.
I answer as sweetly as I can; it seems like a lifetime ago that I had those EXACT SAME CONCERNS.
I remember taking Anna out of public school nearly four years ago.
One of my fears was that she would miss things like an Easter Egg Hunt, Christmas party, and exchanging Valentines with her friends.
Hind sight being 20/20, I know how silly that thinking was, but back then it was REAL and I feltI might actually be depriving her of something big.
{I can hear you laughing. Go ahead, I deserve it.}
The mom I was nearly four years ago knew a lot less about risk taking and overcoming her fears than then mom I am today.
I've learned the following things about those silly fears:
Adults worry more about the school "traditions" much more than children do.
That first year out of school my daughter didn't even miss a Valentine party. We went to visit grandparents over Valentine's Day and had such a nice time. She thought it was such a treat to be spending that special day with her Grandma and Grandpa (and Grandma made the kids Valentine boxes!).
Having the courage to step outside the box is often extremely rewarding.
Homeschooling has taught me that once our family took that leap of faith outside of the traditional educational box, the rest was easy. In fact, now we LIKE being different and not conforming to what everyone else is doing or expects us to do.
Homeschooled children often have MORE chances for special events and memory making activities.
This year we will celebrate Valentine's Day at our co-op. The kids made Valentines for all of their friends. Anna (now a sixth grader) made rolled fabric flowers, cards, and treat bags of candy for her friends. There will be an emphasis on love and kindness tomorrow in our group and my children will make meaningful connections.
We will also have time to come home and have a special family Valentine party (courtesy of my friend, Melissa) with no homework or school deadlines looming over us.
And by the way - we learned the REAL meaning of Valentine's Day and read some good books about it.
It's all about what you know.
Since my youngest has never been to school he doesn't know about all of these silly public school traditions. Last year a woman stopped us in Target and asked us if we were on Spring Break. Grant looked at her and said, "What's Spring Break?"
I had to laugh out loud. Why would he know? We never "break" from learning and we don't have formal vacations from school. That whole idea to him is quite foreign (as is a Valentine's party, I suppose).
Children learn so very much when they see us overcome "silly" fears.
I know my daughter has learned to more of an individual and take more chances because she has witnessed her dad and I completely change our lifestyle.
- We took our children out of public school. {I was a public school teacher, for goodness sake.}
- We rarely watch mainstream media and don't take part in pop culture.
- We lost some friends because they thought we had just gone a little nuts when we decided to homeschool.
All of those decisions have led us to where we are today - a healthier, happier, and closer family.
If you're contemplating homeschool and have these fears, I UNDERSTAND. Really, I do. I know, however, you can overcome them.
If you are a veteran homeschooler I wish I would have had the wisdom sooner to take the leap.
If you're somewhere in the middle like me, then I know you're enjoying this journey of self discovery just like I am.
Oh, and Happy Valentine's Day!
Reader Comments (11)
How timely, Mary! I've just written a post about fears too. Like you've said in your post, it's important for the more experienced homeschooling parents to share their experiences with those who are new to it, or who are considering it. There are many myths about what homeschooling is or isn't, that posts like yours help to demystify. Thanks for sharing. :-)
Lilah came out of school in January. Missing her Valentine's party was a big deal to HER. So we made it a big deal here. She planned a party and invited all her new friends. It lasted for hours and we all had such fun. We are now having our 4th annual Valentine's Day Party this Friday and it remains on her her favorite days of the year.
Homeschooled kids don't miss out on anything, unless it is of their choosing (Grace says there is now way she will ever go to a prom...)
Lilah has planned this party entirely on her own.
She has a notebook filled with ideas, recipes, activities, all organized and coded according to food, game or item to purchase.
She will bake today to prepare.
She has helped to clean the house.
She has made shopping lists and worked within a budget.
She has searched Pinterest for ideas, like her tape ball, and completed some pins to try at the party.
She has hand made valentines using paint and stencil.
She has created an evite.
She has made decorations for the home.
And now she gets to share all this with her closest friends who "get" what she does and why it matters so much to her.
I don't think she misses out on anything!
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!
Just what is socialism? That's what a lot of these people asking need to know. It isn't about being with other people, it's about knowing how to act when around them. Do they shy away or do they dive in and take part?
I have to admit, my oldest two are sort of quiet and reserved. Wouldn't you know, they were the two who were most socialized?
I have been asked about socialization. I hate the question, because I know they want an answer according to what they think it should be.
Truly, I don't want my kids socializing with the kids of the world. This is why I homeschool. (One reason).
I am right there with you on all of this, Mary!! Our decision to homeschool and all of the resultant changes for myself and my family have made me realize what a rebel I really am ;) I love the freedom that comes with this decision, and sometimes I want to shake other people to make them see what they are missing! Great post :)
Happy Valentine's Day <3
This was a very timely post for me to come across. I have been feeling pulled to the homeschool journey pretty heavily for the last year. I have 4 kids.. 12, 9, and 6 year old twins. I am on board with the older boys, but I am a little afraid of jumping all in with, soon to be 2nd grade, twins in the mix too. Always worried that they are going to miss out on something, but then thinking.."Do I even really remember that stuff from my school years and was it important?".. ummm nope. But as I have posted things about homeschool on public forums.. like facebook, I have had friends start acting funny towards me (like I'm nuts! Just like you said!) and even stop communicating all together. So, your post gives me hope that I am not alone and that the homeschool journey doesn't have ot be a lonely one either. Thank you!
Yes, I know that worrying about such things is silly because it really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. But every once in awhile, I forget. Maybe a comment from a stranger or a comment from a well-menaing family member and suddenly I'm up at night worrying. We were out to dinner recently and some kids came in all dressed up. Not prom, but perhaps...homecoming? I don't know, but it made me stop and pause. We are many years away from this as my oldest is in 1st grade, but I wondered about them missing out on that.
We just returned from a valentines party at a local park with a large group of homeschoolers and the kids had so much fun. They didn't have to squish their party into their school day like public school kids did. They had hours of playing outside in the sunshine and fresh air with kids of all ages. (And even better: we didn't skip opening our books; we did school this morning.)
This is a long comment, but really just wanted to say even though some of us know it, we still need reminders sometimes!
Our homeschool group around here has kinda dissolved, so we don't have the option of a party with a group, but we are having fun at home for the holidays.
It's amazing how the things that you worry about when you start out are never as big a deal as you think they'll be :-) I was always worried about mine missing out on that kind of stuff, and they're not even that interested in it. They'd just as soon just celebrate holidays like Valentine's Day by making Valentines for each other and grandparents.
I agree it is silly some of the things we worry about. Great post Mary. There is still worries at times. But they come VERY little now. I see how amazing this homeschool life it, how grounded the kids I know are, how passionate they are about things they love, how kind and considerate they are. Beautiful words.
Thanks for sharing this! As we consider homeschooling past preschool this is something that often comes up in conversations with others, and I have thought a lot about it myself. It's good that you pointed out how silly these fears can be, and I am pinning this to help me remember again when I start worrying about them next. :)
"We never 'break' from learning and we don't have formal vacations from school. That whole idea to him is quite foreign."
This comment in the whole post was really awesome. Nothing speaks more "Platonic" or Aristotelean" about education than comments like these. Plato and Aristotle - what, 2,500 years ago? taught that learning is a lifelong process and everything in life can be a lesson.
When I was in High School, I used to love Christmas break. I used to love summer vacation. I used to loathe the school year. Is that really a pattern we want to teach our children about education? Listen to most regularly schooled kids and this is the pattern they've learned. EVEN.THE.GOOD.ONES.WHO.DO.WELL.IN.SCHOOL. (As I did).
Cara looked at me today as we can home from judging the Lit. Fair. She said to me, "maybe when we adopt, maybe we'll homeschool." We've always toyed with the idea. We're both certainly skilled enough educators to accomplish the "nuts and bolts" of homeschooling. But through you and your kids, I think Cara and I are seeing the big picture, too. That's really what this post is all about. People want to focus on the nuts and bolts - like "socialization" and "Valentine's parties." But it's really about seeing the big picture in terms of family and community dynamics.
You and your family are such great ambassadors for homeschooling. It's incredible. May God receive the glory for raising you up and for giving your passion for homeschooling a voice of your own!